i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
