dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
