you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
