two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
