so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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