cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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