I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize