I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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