Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize