oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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