Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
