he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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