We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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