Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
