is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize