Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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