i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
