bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
