She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
