Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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