ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
