2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
