I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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