I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize