why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
