he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
