just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just tell him i said nine months
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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