my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
