Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
