ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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