So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
worst night to have a conscience
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
