things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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