So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize