don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
