i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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