quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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