He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
