I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize