areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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