My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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