ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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