Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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