Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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