And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
