And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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