I hate all girls vehemently.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
