i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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