yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
