I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i will never coherently bang her
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
