So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
