If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Holy shit dude........stairs
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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