8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
