I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
