try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
