Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Mycophage hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Toronto

I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it

Fav 18 1134 2888
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!

Fav 18 3289 869
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

Fav 42 10612 1280
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

Fav 11 1393 2812
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.

Fav 2 3295 1156
share tweet
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Well... this vagina won't eat itself

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina

Fav 16 837 2116
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

Fav 10 2547 735
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"

Fav 1 40 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I need more 20 something year old penis in my life

Fav 0 65 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT