I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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