I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
